She woke up as the pendulum struck 6 in the morning.It was a daily ritual..ever since she entered the verandah of the house 50 years back..Except now she didn't have any purpose to get up so early.Even the beam of the morning Sun glistened idly, with shapeless, seemingly massless specks floating around, with no guided steering.
She mulled over the similarity of her life to the floating particles.Both the entities seemed to have no direction.Even in the light.
With age come wisdom and respect. With wisdom come transcendent noesis and peace.All of which is accompanied by constant palpating desolation and an enduring need for someone to just be there to see you through.Through the good times when you wished time would cease to exist and through the difficult times when you hold on to every possibility that conveys of time flowing.Sometimes even healing.
The layer of faded yellow paint peeling off from the walls sometimes had strange resemblance with the worldly things.Or was it her imagination? It engaged her slow mind for a while before moving on to the mighty almirah placed against one of the walls.It brought back the memories of her late husband.
The ceaseless disputes that arose from the bed every morning and ended in the bed every night.The comforting silence in the room while he read his newspaper and she talked about the naughty things their grandson did whilst the day lasted and the worries that pounded her mind whilst the sleeplessness lasted. It didn't matter how much he listened to her.All that mattered was the manner in which he 'hummed' after her pauses.It gave her the strength to go on.
She thought of beautiful moments as a couple when they had each other.. everything seemed within reach.In the lives.In the minds. All strength came crashing down when she was left without his company.
The light of the day seemed dimmer,the life seemed longer and purpose of living evanesced.
Lightly her eyes followed the door which seemed like the only getaway from the memories which knotted her to this room and she decided to walk through the door to draw in the sunshine into her mind.. Memories made her feel weak and overpowered her heap of sanity that came with age..She called for her daughter to help her get out from the bed..
She stood up with a support.. trying to push back the memories that floated around her.Hoping that one day..the room would stop oozing out the memories of sweet nothings and let her rest.
( ....With age come wrinkles of dependence, tears of helplessness, specks of forlornness and eyes full of dejection.. )